


He had loved and, by doing so, had found himself. But most people love in order to lose themselves.

by MiserableLie95



Category: Morrissey (Musician), The Smiths
Genre: Anal Sex, Falling In Love, Implied Relationships, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 17:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiserableLie95/pseuds/MiserableLie95
Summary: Falling in love, 1983.





	He had loved and, by doing so, had found himself. But most people love in order to lose themselves.

Johnny found the door to Morrissey’s flat unlocked, never a good sign. He had gotten another late night call from the singer, begging him to come over. Johnny never found himself able to say no to him, so he had made the short drive despite the fact that it was a quarter past three in the morning. He found Morrissey in the living room, staring listlessly at a rerun of Top of The Pops, his head propped up by his hand. He didn’t notice Johnny walking in. Johnny squinted at the light from the television and took a deep breath. 

“Morrissey," he said calmly, leaning against the doorframe. 

Morrissey either didn’t hear him or pretended not to, and continued to stare at the screen without really registering any of it. 

“Moz, what are you doing?” Johnny asked, louder this time. 

Morrissey looked over, his eyes finding Johnny’s shyly. He got to his feet slightly uncertainly and crossed the room to be nearer to the guitarist, trying to smile. “You came," he said softly, putting his arms around his neck. 

Johnny rolled his eyes, letting Morrissey sink against him. He wrapped his arms around Morrissey’s waist and spoke quietly, past the lump of his throat, into the smooth skin of his neck- “Of course I came," he murmured. He felt Morrissey settle into his arms and squinted at the light of the tv behind them again, wondering why exactly he was asked to Morrissey’s flat again in the middle of the night. Although Johnny was more of a nocturnal person, he knew Morrissey wasn't. So it was usually something worrying if he was getting the call. 

“What’s going on with you?” Johnny asked gently, leaning his head against the doorframe to catch Morrissey’s gaze. Morrissey had his eyes closed, and showed no sign of pulling away. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Morrissey answered, his voice catching. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat that appeared every time he was around Johnny lately. 

“Nothing ever is with you," Johnny said. He was hoping the conversation wasn’t going in the direction he thought it was. 

“Ah, I’m certain Mike and Andy will gladly explain if you’d ask them," Morrissey continued. 

“Whatever this is about, I don’t want to hear it from them. I want to hear it from you”.

“I don’t think that’s really true," Morrissey replied. 

Johnny didn’t like the sad lilt to his tone, and gripped Morrissey’s sweater tightly, pulling them closer together. Morrissey ducked his head slightly, blue eyes boring into hazel. Johnny flinched slightly at the closeness, and felt a pang of regret immediately following the involuntary reaction. He didn’t want to shy away from Morrissey. That was all a part of his game; a battle for power, for control. Johnny was always the sparring partner, both of them pushing each other to see how far they could go. It had never been limited to professional areas. 

Johnny didn’t look away this time as Morrissey leaned in and kissed him. He reached up and put his hands in Morrissey’s hair as they kissed, making the singer come in closer, pressing their bodies together. It wasn’t a surprise that both of them could feel the other’s growing arousal. Morrissey moaned softly, and Johnny felt his stomach tightening in response. It was so easy for the two of them to move together. Morrissey kissed along Johnny’s neck, breathing shakily against his skin. His long fingers ran down Johnny’s torso, teasing strokes left along the top of his jeans. 

“You be careful," Johnny warned. 

His hands were resting on the nape of Morrissey’s neck, watching the way that the singer’s eyes devoured him. There was clearly something wrong, but Johnny couldn’t bring himself to ask again. Those sharp eyes made Johnny feel impossibly small, despite the fact that he knew he was an object of absolute desire to Morrissey. It was something that lingered in Johnny’s mind whenever they got together. 

In response to Johnny’s teasing warning, Morrissey sucked hard at his exposed collarbone, causing Johnny to gasp loudly, moving his hips against Morrissey’s automatically. Morrissey’s breath huffed out, his fingers moving quickly to undo Johnny’s belt, then rubbing against the hardness underneath his pants. Johnny groaned, and Morrissey dropped to his knees obligingly, pulling down Johnny’s jeans. He moved his hand along Johnny’s length slowly, pressing his lips against the head of his cock. Johnny felt himself hardening further, and took a breath, looking down at the singer. 

Morrissey smiled gently and kissed Johnny’s waist slowly, leaving a trail of kisses along his hips and pelvis, his hands moving down Johnny’s thighs, then to grip his ass. Johnny shivered, feeling goosebumps break out across his skin and an unbelievable neglect for his cock. Morrissey continued to kiss Johnny everywhere except the one place Johnny needed it. Morrissey lovingly kissed Johnny’s thighs, leading in close to Johnny’s cock, then moving away again. 

“For fuck’s sake," Johnny sighed, kneading his forehead. Morrissey laughed, moving his hands to Johnny’s hips and looking up carefully. “You don’t know what the fuck you do to me," Johnny said weakly.

“Does it matter?” Morrissey asked. It was a rhetorical question. They both knew that they’d give the other exactly what they wanted. “And would you like me to stop?” Morrissey challenged, raising his eyebrows. 

“No. No, I wouldn’t," Johnny said between gritted teeth. 

Morrissey nodded, moving his hands down Johnny’s body again. He didn’t look away as he flicked his tongue against the head of Johnny’s cock, collecting the bead of precum and swallowing. Johnny felt flushed, trying to stay in the moment as he watched Morrissey. He put his hands in Morrissey’s hair and titled his hips expectantly. 

“Go on then," Johnny said hoarsely. 

Morrissey took Johnny into his mouth, refusing to look away from his guitarist as he moved along his shaft, gulping around Johnny’s hardness until it touched the back of his throat. He didn’t gag anymore. He sucked Johnny’s cock greedily, moving his hands to touch Johnny’s ass at the same time. Johnny’s eyes fluttered closed against his own wishes as he gave into pleasure, thrusting into Morrissey’s mouth and gripping his partner’s hair as gently as he could manage. 

“Oh, fuck,” Johnny groaned.

Morrissey kept at it, often moaning and changing technique and speed to keep Johnny on edge. Johnny’s head rested against the doorframe in a total sex haze; after-effect of the joint he had been smoking when Morrissey called, and the pure, pleasurable bliss of having someone so totally devoted to him. He brushed his fingers along the older man’s jawline as they both slowed down, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. 

“That’s it, baby," Johnny smiled, as Morrissey swirled his tongue over the tip of his cock. 

The desire finish swept through Johnny’s body more pressingly, and he moaned, looking away from Morrissey’s thickly-lidded and aroused gaze. Morrissey moaned back, the vibrations making Johnny gasp. He wasn’t ready to finish. He hated to reach the end so quickly.

“Ah, god. Alright- hey, that’s enough," Johnny said firmly, putting his hand under Morrissey’s chin. 

Morrissey leaned back, raising his eyebrows as Johnny sank down to his knees as well, holding Morrissey’s face in his hands. 

“Is this what you want?” Johnny asked softly. 

Morrissey nodded, finding himself unable to say anything. The lump in his throat was back, because he knew it couldn’t last. No matter how hard he tried to please Johnny, how badly he wanted him in every way possible- he’d never be able to hold onto the guitarist. He’d never be able to keep him at arms’ length, the way he wanted to. So if this was as close as they could get; the secrecy, the passion, the intimacy- it almost made up for the fact that they would never truly be together. It hurt, it plagued Morrissey’s thoughts on difficult nights like these, but he would never pass it up. He couldn’t. He needed to hold on to it while he could; to him, to this, to the band. It was all he had. 

“Moz, is this what you want?” Johnny asked again, his brown eyes clouding with worry. 

“Yes," Morrissey said automatically.

Johnny grinned, pulling his pants back up, leaving his belt and jeans undone. “Let’s go to your room, then,” Johnny said, helping Morrissey up. He kissed Morrissey hard before taking a step away, tasting himself on Morrissey’s tongue, and Morrissey’s erection pressed against him through his jeans. 

They tumbled onto Morrissey’s bed, hands moving quickly to remove clothing, kissing and touching so desperately it was like they were making up for lost time. Johnny pressed Morrissey into the mattress, kissing along his body. The older man tried to steady his heartbeat as he felt Johnny’s hot breath on the most intimate of areas, his soft lips moving along Morrissey’s cock. Johnny didn’t tease Morrissey, he couldn’t find it in himself to make the man wait any longer than he had- which had been most of his life up until recently. Morrissey moaned helplessly as Johnny sucked him off, the tension building up in a short amount of time. When Morrissey’s moaning became more ragged breathing than words of encouragement and endearment, Johnny knew he’d better stop. He moved lower instead, placing his hands on Morrissey’s thighs to help change positions. 

“Are we going to…?” Morrissey asked breathlessly, raising his head to watch the younger man as his legs were lifted up and out of the way. Johnny nodded, then kissed along the inside of Morrissey’s thighs, his fingers moving along Morrissey’s opening. Morrissey breathed in sharply, reaching for the lube he kept in his nightstand. He handed it to Johnny, running his fingers along his own body. 

Johnny poured some lube onto his hands and swirled his finger around Morrissey’s entrance, looking up at Morrissey. Morrissey was watching carefully, licking his lips. He nodded, propping himself on his elbows to get closer to Johnny. Johnny began to finger him gently, leaning in to kiss Morrissey as he used a second finger. Morrissey groaned against Johnny’s lips, moving his hips with Johnny’s hand. He bit the younger man’s lip in the process, making Johnny wild with desire. He groaned loudly, going harder until neither of them could wait any longer. 

Johnny poured more lube, stroking Morrissey’s cock quickly with a concentrated look- earning a hungry moan from the singer. He coated his own cock next, preparing himself for sex. Morrissey’s legs had begun quivering around Johnny’s hips, anticipation and arousal taking over him. Johnny paused for a moment, the head of his cock pressed against Morrissey’s opening. He leaned forward, slipping in slightly, so he could kiss Morrissey again. He gripped Morrissey’s cock and stroked him again for good measure- Morrissey’s fingernails digging into his back impatiently. 

“Alright, love?” Johnny asked in a low voice, needing to hear Morrissey say the words again. 

“Yes. Certainly alright," Morrissey breathed, kissing Johnny again. The words were on the tip of his tongue. I love you. I need this more than anything. It matters so much more than you could ever know. I never want to be without you, without this, without us. But Morrissey swallowed again, nodding his head to settle the matter. Johnny grinned- all youth and hormones, and slowly thrusted into the singer. 

Johnny murmured the singer’s name, his breath catching in his throat. He leaned in and kissed Morrissey’s neck, picking up the pace in his thrusting. Morrissey gasped into Johnny’s ear, sending a shock through the younger man’s body. “Fuck," Johnny groaned, thrusting harder. Morrissey jerked himself off between them, moaning and gasping, making the guitarist tense up and groan each time “baby” or “Johnny” were whimpered into his ear. 

“You feel so good," Johnny muttered, stopping his thrusts for a moment. He looked at Morrissey with genuine tenderness; whether it was from love, arousal, pot, or whatever else- it made Morrissey’s heart skip in his chest. He kissed Johnny delicately, blinking rapidly to delay the overwhelming sense of emotion. “Always so good…” Johnny groaned, dipping his head to kiss Morrissey neck. He grinned and brushed back Morrissey’s hair, kissing him on the lips. “This right here- it’s better than anything," Johnny continued. “I’m on top of the world with you. You know that, don’t you?” Johnny said firmly, kissing Morrissey again. 

“I’ll take your word for it," Morrissey said softly. “It’s nice to finally fit together so simply with someone," he said, running his hands along Johnny’s back. 

“Nice, yeah- but you give me a hell of a hard time lasting in bed,” Johnny laughed. 

Johnny pulled out, like he was trying to prove his point, and applied more lube to his cock. Morrissey watched eagerly, feeling his own cock harden further at the sight of Johnny touching himself to spread the lube. He was hopelessly attracted, enthralled, and in love. At least he could admit it to himself. 

“Fancy finishing up?” Johnny asked teasingly, bright-eyed and full of energy despite the hour, the sexual act, the implications of their being intertwined. 

“Of course," Morrissey smiled, pulling Johnny back in for a kiss. 

There was no point in pretending that being with Morrissey was not something Johnny should’ve been doing. But there truly was nothing to compare to the intensity between the two of them. Every word rang in his ears, every touch made him feel like he was on fire. Having sex with him was a battle of lasting more than five minutes- it was that romantic, that intimate, that unbelievable. Everything he did with Morrissey was on a different level. He hadn’t been prepared for it, but that’s what had happened. That’s how the cards fell, so he’d do what he could with them. 

What it meant, at that moment- with Morrissey’s fingernails digging into his back as he arched against the slighter man, his muscles tightening and his desperate moans in Johnny’s ear signifying his forthcoming release, was that they were in love with each other. There was nothing else to call it. Johnny felt his own need to cum begin to overpower him and he changed his angle as Morrissey raised his hips off the mattress, thrusting deeper, his cock pressing hard against Morrissey’s prostate. 

Morrissey moaned loudly, pulling Johnny’s hips in hard to speed up his thrusting and repeat the same action. Johnny braced himself against Morrissey’s shoulders, thrusting hard and deep, his face inches from Morrissey’s. Morrissey’s name came out as a helpless whimper as Johnny’s stomach tightened with the beginnings of orgasm. Morrissey kissed Johnny softly, his whole body shaking underneath the guitarists’.

Morrissey’s thick eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he came hard between their bodies, his eyes closing as he gasped and moaned, still stroking himself. Johnny finished directly after him, unable to stop himself as Morrissey started to orgasm. He loved to watch his stoic partner come undone, to the point where it almost turned him on more than anything else. Johnny’s usually pale cheeks were stained red in his efforts, and he swore and moaned softly as he came- as was his way. Nothing else mattered just then.


End file.
